2004-11-14 - 2:46 p.m.
"Hollow snaps of misdirected anger. Ricochet pumiceous concrete. You're not a threat like Tet. Lonely Mi Lai no one left to cry." - American Steel, "Turn It Out"
Where were you when I needed you the most?
Chills through the spineless. Always apologetic, when you never are. You're a mess, I'm a mess, we're all messed up. Sometimes I wish those daggers you shoot were real. Then you could scrub the blood off the walls. One drop for every time you struck out and killed me.
Nobody cares. Everyone makes me nervous. Tired crying eyes. Pencil poised to destroy any semblance of normal. I'm unresolved, like Schoenberg.
I'm too passionate. I care too much. Build up a shell and allege that I don't care. I don't care. I can't care b/c it hurts too much, but I do. And I'd like for someone to maybe care as much as I do, just for a little while. Rejection is routine.
Somebody ought to have told you that I'm not like that. It's not what matters to me. I was that sweet little girl until I was four and the world turned on me. You never understood. I'm the girl you never wanted to know.
Awful and angry. It's my style, but that's never what I wanted. I wanted to be one of those pretty, happy, vapid girls. Could never have happened, for I think too much, and thinking leads to depression, and we're all so much happier when we don't think. Not skin deep. Not just perfect.
You know it's really bad when you break out awful rap-metal from years past. There was definitely a thing when I was 14, and Serial Joe was 15, and they blew my life away with "Face Down", b/c I went through everything on that album.
If the world were an opera, my life would be that one aria every stupid, overly sensitive female lead sings, lamenting life and love - y'know, the one before she downs the poison. Point. Click. Get it over with.
"Inquisitive minds want to interfere. Try and figure it out, what the hell I'm doing here. Turn around the corner, it's a brand new day. Strange the way today seems just like yesterday." - Serial Joe, "Confused"
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