2004-11-25 - 11:42 a.m.
"I walk on concrete, I walk on sand, but I can't find a safe place to stand. I'm scared, baby. I wanna run. This world's crazy. Gimme the gun." - PJ Harvey, "Big Exit"
There's a crazy rush of activity in this broken house, and I'm supposed to make some sort of casserole thing. It's a curse than I can cook.
Bleak and blasted, free reign to wane against your brighter self. I would like to fly without wings, and soar over higher things, wreak havoc on the immoral, and alleviate all the sorrow. My goals are set so low. Every time you said I couldn't, I made your words come true. Freakishly simplistic. The hateful notebook is open for business.
Exacerbated. Ignorant. Belligerent. Seventeen times the fold and straying. Echoes of resonation. Given up on perfection. The caffeine addiction might be enough to pull me through. It's a blue ribbon existence - the idea of killing yourself now to reach the promised land later. It's just a promise with nothing to back it up. Untrusting eyes with the shadows of bruises underneath. Oh dear, my dear, they'll see past. It's the idea of piling lies upon lies and seeing nothing but truth. It's the ridiculous expectation of blindsided faith.
Missing piece like the Teen Heroes. Serious, silly, stupid, scathing, sarcastic, smart, sentimental, cynical - all adjectives to describe me. Layered, but not a damn onion. They're sentient, situational, subject to change. It doesn't matter, come heartache, heartbreak, or happiness. Let's grow our souls, not follow the fold.
Wealthy people suck. Restaurants targeted to the the rich also suck. What is arugula, and why is it served with pheasant? This is a restaurant where our employer will be taking us in a few weeks. He showed us the menu, thinking we'd love it, but really, we would rather go for a $3.25 burrito than a $25 dinner with weird sauces and foods we can't even pronounce.
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying-
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying
-Dorothy Parker, "Unfortunate Coincidence"
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